Happy landing

Taking the first flight since Sept 2016

 The flight went much better than I have imagined. Gohan was so happy. I noticed that he was reliving his old intercontinental commuting life following a routine he used to have. He looks so comfortable in the airplane. He eats by himself not needing much help while watching movie. I only need to check on him every so often. 

Reliving his past globetrotter lifestyle

No diarrhea. Thank God! Only minor bathroom issues that I was able to manage. I was hoping to get two business seats across the aisle, so I didn't need to stand up to see him. But I could only get seats having him sit in front of me. However, it works out. when he needs my help he would stick out his hands to tap at the top of the seat back.

I also asked the flight attendant to come get me if he got up to bathroom by himself while I fell asleep. Sure enough he did. I would have been so stressed had we not sat in the business class where I could get more help from the attendants.

His brother and My nephew picked us up from the airport and took us to the Airbnb

His face brimming with smile when we touched down. He feels well, and wants to get out of the airplane as soon as we can, just like the old time. That made the planning and flight in which I only slept for a couple of hours worthwhile.

His brother is the first person Gohan wishes to see in Taiwan

Once we are in Taipei, he was so energetic, only sleeping 10 hours a day. He says that he doesn't want to spend his vacation in sleep.  It is very amazing how much energy he suddenly summons once we landed.  However, I was pretty tired with jetlags, coordinating his meeting schedule and furnishing the Airbnb. Not sure if it is typical in Taiwan, the Airbnb apartment is spacious and up-to-date, but has minimal furnishing of all the daily stuff that we need. Thinking positively, busy schedule helps me adjust to the jetlag sooner.  Seeing how happy he is, makes me happy too.

All set to go back to Taiwan

I realized I’m crazy to take this trip, so many things to bring. The meds although most important, is only a small part of my packing. I have been working hard to get things ready for our trip. It feel likes moving Geohann’s bedroom with us. Our relatives will procure or rent medical equipment for him. I have also made arrangements for a temporary caregiver in Taipei. I’m 90% ready for the trip. The 10% will be packed before departure. 

However, I was frustrated and worry a couple days ago because I have been searching for a week for an airbnb in Taipei but couldn't find one that is available for our entire stay and that also met our accessibility needs, mainly because it is so close to our departure date. 

I seldom pray for this kind of things but this morning at the Sunday service I asked God for help to find one that is suitable so we don't need to move in and out. I got home and checked again, found a new listing with 3BD/2BA. Usually Airbnb host doesn't do tour but the host agreed to let my brother see the apartment for me because I told her there is no client reviews for my reference. My brother used video chat so I could see the whole place. The place met our needs, so I contacted her immediately. She told me that she also has a son living in Cupertino and that she is a Christian (I didn't tell her that I am one). After negotiation, she dropped the price by 30%, cheaper than a 2BD/1BA that I was originally looking for. 

The apartment is located in between my brother’s and my sister’s houses whom we will be visiting often. 7 minutes driving to each. 3 minutes to Taipei 101. Many shops right around the corner. A perfect location for us! Unlike many of the Airbnb which do not allow visitors, we can receive visitors when GwoHann can’t go out. 

I know this is more than a coincidence because only 4% of population in Taiwan are Christians. The chance of meeting one is small. Also, the host said that she had three reservation requests before me, but there were some issues with her airbnb account, so she couldn't accept them. I was lucky to come just in time right when she has the issues resolved. I will be her first client. 

10/23 / After I paid the deposit, a day later she told me that she decided to withdraw from airbnb after my and another group’s stay, because she is not tech savvy and hosting on airbnb is too much work for her. She wanted to do long term lease instead. So I am one of the only two groups who will stay there during the only month she hosts on airbnb. What chance I have!

Thank God for His goodness! With this good sign, I feel more confident about the trip and trust that God will protect GwoHann and grant us a joyful trip.

GwoHann is exhilarated that we are actually going. He couldn’t sleep whole day yesterday’s after I told him the travel date which I originally withheld from him so he won’t get too anxious like before. He crashed at the end of the day and had to go to bed with only half of his dinner finished. 

Yes. We are going and I believe we will be happy that we went. 

Missing hometown

Gohan has been talking about visiting our hometown Taiwan for almost two weeks now. It is unusual that with his fleeting memories, he remembers it consistently. Everyday he would say that he is getting old (he insisted that he is not sick) and it will be his last trip, so he wants to make it before too late. However, I have been resisting the idea, still vividly remembering the bouts of diarrhea that he had during our trips to Bodega and Asilomar when there was no bathroom nearby. He had a great time getting out, but I was anxious and exhausted especially during the Asilomar trip when our kids were not with us to help. Things are much harder to manage away from home where I have all the medical supply. But mostly I am worry about the impact of the long flight and jetlag that will have on his health. People have been telling me stories of their sick relatives or friends whose health got worse after a long trip, either didn't make it back or died shortly after returning. Hence, I summoned a list of relatives and friends in Taiwan to video chat with him, hoping that they will ease his homesickness and dissuade him from international travel. They tell him that they are coming to the US to visit him. However, he would happily tell them that he is going back to see them. As a last resort, I told Gohan that we should check with Dr. Wakelee, thinking that is the best way to stop him.

So when Dr. Wakelee said "you can go! There is nothing medically that prevents you from going", Gohan laughed out loud with joy while I sat feeling defeated. Gohan winked to me 'I won!'. I shaked my head. I expressed my worry about Gohan's yoyo cycle of diarrhea and constipation which is stressful to manage during travel, Dr. W suggested to give Gohan Immodium to prevent diarrhea before boarding the plane, even if it means worsening his constipation. "Just once for the sake of going home", she said. Regarding the issue that it takes him 2-3 hours to eat one meal because his chewing muscle is weak, and by the time he finishes, he is ready to nap; she advised Gohan to take one liquid meal a day (which understandably he dislikes) so that he can enjoy more of his life.

She gently told us that it is great that Tagrisso has been effective for Gohan to keep cancer at bay, but she doesn't know how much longer it will work, so it is a good time to go home. She also reminded me that because he is on oral treatment, we are free to go, which is not an option for patients who have to be treated in the hospital for chemo and radiation. To ease my concern about medical care, she offered to contact her colleagues in Taiwan who are excellent thoracic oncologists, so they will know Gohan's condition and take good care of him should any medical needs arise.

Finally, she suggested that we do a CT scan this week to make sure his chest and left ribs (which last scan shows new mets developing) are stable before we make the final decision. But Gohan is already sure he is going, and excitedly calling his brother about the good news. In his prayer before dinner, his tears flows down as he utters 'God please help me to go back to Taiwan, I miss my homeland so much'.  Tears well up in my eyes instantly. How can I deny a terminally ill man's wish, not to mention he is my husband, even if it means negative effect to his already fragile body. I gently stroke his back and said 'we are going home.'