The meaning of Christmas

We love Christmas - we deck the hall with new and old trimmings, eat cookies without hesitation, and listen to heartwarming Christmas songs nonstop.  However, what we love most is that our empty nest is full again with our three kids and their partners. Joy is in the air when they are around. They whisked us to a cabin in the mountains for a getaway, cooked for us, played games with us, hiked with us, and talked with us - things that we used to do for them when they were young, except that they don't discipline us (lucky us because several of them used to be speech and debaters in HS). On Christmas, they cooked a sumptuous feast while we sat and watched Charlie Brown Christmas, eating popcorn. Time reverses our roles in life; we felt like pampered, happy children.

The Big Tree in Calaveras Big Tree State Park

Gohan received his 12th chemo on Dec. 18, and is recovering well despite frequent fatigue and not having a good appetite. Today, he had a brain MRI and lung CT scan, for which we will receive results on New Year's Eve. Time seems to slow down while we wait for the news, which gives us more time to think and pray.  We think of all the wonderful people in our lives including our medical team who takes care of us faithfully, our friends who support us kindly, and our family who loves us unwaveringly. Through them, we experience the unconditional love that God has shown us on the cross, and that is the true meaning of Christmas. 

Wishing you a Christmas warm with peace and happiness, and a new year filled with health, joy and every good thing!

Love,

Gohan & Jacqueline

The infusion center nurse team take care of cancer patients through the holidays

Gohan in the news

The World Journal interviewed Gohan after he shared the life lessons he learned at the FGBM on Dec. 20. Below is the article in Chinese followed by the English translation. Gohan's humbleness and courage is an inspiration to many people.

世界日報北美版 12月26日

簡國漢抗癌 學到人生功課

正在與癌症抗爭的簡國漢說，抗癌過程讓他學到很多功課。例如改變價值觀、團隊作戰、欣賞每一個人的奇妙、全心依靠信仰、謙卑自省、平衡生活、多祝福家人。他日前在全福會年會上分享抗癌經歷，令許多人感動。

25日簡國漢與妻子李佳芬和三個子女在庫比蒂諾家中歡度聖誕節，其樂融融。28日他要去重要的掃描檢查並等待結果。他表示，現在自己感覺很好。雖然今年6月底發現肺癌細胞轉移到腦部，但數據看起來還不錯，醫生看來也並不緊張。只是到台灣度假的計畫取消了，以治病優先。簡國漢1978年台灣大學電機系畢業。1980年來美留學。他在EDA產業界打拼30多年，先後擔任矽谷多家高科技公司主管。2013年9月被診出患肺癌。

這次癌細胞轉移腦部的治療過程，讓他學到更多功課，他發現自己很多地方都有改變。以前有很多放不開的東西，常獨自埋藏在心裡。尤其男人往往遇事都一個人硬抗，不願交流。其實這些都是錯誤的。「任何事都要團隊作戰，單打獨鬥非常辛苦」。要打開心胸與人分享，接受幫助」。

通過謙卑自省，簡國漢與家人相處有很大改變，學會對小孩「多鼓勵，少逼求」。他表示，過去對大女兒學業逼得太緊，令她害怕學數學，導致父女關係隔閡。他發現自己錯了，就向女兒道歉，並經常祝福鼓勵她。以前女兒看到他就緊張，現在看到父親就有笑容，願意與他溝通，對自己也有了信心。家人休閒玩麻將算帳時，都是大女兒算得最快。

簡國漢說，上帝造的每個人都不同。他學會欣賞每個人的奇妙。過去他常認為自己總是對的，對別人期望太多。現在他懂得要欣賞別人的優點。改變思考後，他和太太相處得非常好，總是看到她的優點，「比從前在台灣談戀愛還要甜蜜」。

他說，如果別人做錯了事，要多寬恕別人。回想從小到大他都有一些心結埋在心裡，其實對自身不好。

談到平衡生活的重要性，簡國漢表示，男人好比同時在拋好幾個球。家庭和健康是其中最重要的兩個玻璃球。工作雖也重要，出了錯還可以重新再來。但是家庭和健康這兩個玻璃球如果掉在地上就碎了。

簡國漢笑著說，生病後客戶都對他很好，以前回電郵總要拖兩三天，現在都是很快就回覆，還經常問候他。老闆也對他很好。

Gohan fights cancer, the life lessons he learned

Gohan Jain, who is fighting cancer, says that he has learned many life lessons in this journey, for example, changing his values, the importance of team work, appreciation for everyone's uniqueness, relying on his faith, humility and introspection, a balanced life, and blessing his family.  A few days ago, he gave a talk at the Full Gospel Business Men’s Fellowship Chrismas dinner, where his sharing touched many people in the 300+ audience.

On Dec. 25, Gohan, his wife ChaiFen Jain and their three children merrily celebrated Christmas at their home in Cupertino.  On Dec. 28th, he will have scans to evaluate his treatment progress and will begin waiting for the results.  He said that at present he feels well and his doctors are not worried either, despite finding that his lung cancer spread to his brain earlier this year in June.  He decided to cancel a planned trip to Taiwan and focused on his treatment instead.  Gohan graduated from National Taiwan University with a BS degree in Electrical Engineering.  He came to the States in 1980 for graduate study.  He has been working in the EDA industry for over 30 years, holding various high level management positions at the major high tech companies in Silicon Valley.

He was diagnosed with lung cancer in September 2013. During the treatment for his cancer, which later metastasized to his brain, he learned many life lessons.  He realized that he used to hold on to frustrations and grudges - things that bothered him that he didn’t let go of.  Like many men, he was reluctant to open up and communicate his true feelings.  “I was wrong. Living life takes teamwork, fighting alone is hard.  Open up and accept help!” he encourages readers.

Through humble introspection , Gohan Jain made big changes to how he communicates with his family.  He learned to guide and encourage instead of demanding from his children.  He said, in the past, he had high expectations for his daughter’s academic work, which unfortunately made her afraid of math, and created a gap in their relationship.  He confessed that he was wrong and has apologized to his daughter.  He now blesses her and encourages her.  Her daughter used to be nervous around him, now he can see her beautiful smiles toward him again. Furthermore, she is willing to communicate with him and has regained her confidence.  When the family plays mahjong, his daughter is often the quickest in tallying score.

Gohan noted that God created everyone equal but each in a different way, and he has learned to appreciate the beauty of God’s creation in each person’s uniqueness.  In the past, he often felt he was always right, and had high expectations of how people should act.  He has changed his perspective and thinking, and now values people’s unique qualities.  After his transformation, his relationship with his wife has blossomed because he more than ever appreciates her merits.  “Our love for each other is sweeter than when we were dating”.

Gohan also said to forgive when other people have wronged you.  Looking back, since his childhood he has buried several unresolved issues in his heart which was not good for him.  Regarding the importance of living a balanced life, Gohan reflects, "a man juggles many balls throughout his life.  However, only two of the balls are made of glass and when they are dropped, they will break.  That two balls are family and health."

Invitation - A gift of love

Gwohann is on a mission: to let people know about God's love.  Over the past year, he has spoken at various venues where he openly shared his amazing transformation on his journey with cancer and how the journey has strengthened and revived our family.  His humble and heartwarming story has touched and inspired his audiences. On Dec. 20, he will speak at a dinner event hosted by the Full Gospel Business Men's Fellowship (FGBMF).  We are excited and grateful for the opportunity.  The title of the event is 'the Gift of Love', which is exactly what he wants to pass on to people.  He is eager to share with everyone what we wished we had learned earlier in life.  Please contact us for tickets if you are interested in receiving this gift of love.  If you can't join us, please pray for strength for him because the event will be held two days after he receives the next chemo.  Thank you.

Date and time: Dec. 20, 5:30 pm 
Place: China Stix Restaurant, 2110 El Camino Real, Santa Clara, CA 95050

Hope to see you there!

-- Gwohann and Jacqueline

11th chemo - better sleep

We went to see a dermatologist for Gohan's rashes, who prescribed a new regimen.  On the first night trying it, he was able to sleep longer.  "What a great feeling!", he said, feeling recharged for the first time in 5 weeks. The good sleep also better prepared him for the chemo today, which went smoothly.

After a long nap following chemo, he felt well enough to go to his company's Christmas party. Gohan has been working from home since his brain radiation, and has not seen his colleagues for over two months.  Everyone was very happy to see him at the party, hugging, patting on the back, and complimenting him for his shiny bald look. Several people even suggested that he keep his head bald because he looks sexier.  He is a popular guy in the company.

It was fun to visit, but we left the party early so we don't overexert ourselves.  After all, fighting cancer is our number one priority.  Pray for a good sleep while the chemo drugs destroying his cancer.