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| Time is precious as he sleeps 18 hours a day, wakes up three times a day |
Gwohann's health deteriorated suddenly and rapidly in mid-August. Only one week after our daughter Christina's wedding, where he was a proud and happy father of the bride, he was admitted to the ER for frequent falls. In the following one week, an avalanche of events happened. The immunotherapy stopped working, his legs were nearly paralyzed from undetected metastasis, his occupational functioning impaired and his cancer seemed to disable his circadian rhythm, making him sleep 24 hours a day. During his ceaseless sleep, he does not eat or drink unless I wake him up.
His downfall felt like an avalanche, sudden, massive and destructive. I carried him and ran as fast as I could to a safe place. But as I ran, my steps got heavier, and I felt out of breath. Worst of all, like a skier chased by the engulfing, sliding snow and ice, I didn't know where the safe place was. Fortunately, just when I felt despair, our kids and family friends arrived and began the rescue work. Some sent meals, some ordered medical equipment, some helped with caregiving, some accompanied us to radiation treatment, and some gave mental and spiritual support. With their help, I was able to regain my foothold, however, Gwohann continued to slide down with the invisible snow. He had lost 15 lb in one month, was bedridden and his cognitive functions declined.
Seeing my tears of grief, Gwohann said to me "Trust in God's salvation" before he fell in deep sleep again. Despite his declining health, his faith in God remains strong and has never wavered. He praises God and gives thanks every day. Although he has lost much of his short term memories and also his sense of time because he is sleeping so much, he never forgets to pray for our family and friends, including our hired caregivers whom we only knew recently. He is the Job in the Bible, who continues to worship and praise through his suffering. I maybe the caregiver, but it is his courage, spiritual strength and faith that carry me through this difficult time.
Running out of treatment options, we took Gwohann to see Dr. Wakelee at Stanford, who urged us to try an FDA-approved new drug, Tagrisso. After weighing the benefits against the risks, I, as his medical care directive agent, decided to go for it. It turned out the decision would start a dramatic turnaround for him. Two weeks after being on Tagrisso, Gwohann can stand up and walk again with minor assistance. His appetite has been restored, his weight stabilized and he wakes up by himself several times a day. He chats and jokes like before. Our home care medical team and oncology team said this is the most amazing recovery that they have ever seen. Our hired caregiver was so moved by Gwohann's story and character, as a speaker she shared his story and miraculous recovery at a Tongan Christian women's conference. So you see, although Gwohann can't go out to give testimony and share God's love like he used to, his life continues to touch people.
Unlike the sleeping beauty in the fairy tale, whose castle was covered by brambles and thorns, and whose friends and family were put to sleep until the prince came to break the spell, my sleeping handsome was showered by love and surrounded by a lively community that supports us. He and I dance to his favorite song "What a Wonderful World" when he is awake. We look at old photos and watch family videos, reflecting on the wonderful life we have had together. Our kids take the opportunity to pay him gratitude and admiration, and show their love by taking care of him. Family and friends visit and pray for us, many of whom bring food to eat with us and do Gwohann's favorite pastime, telling jokes, so smiles and laughter abound and we have never felt alone.
His downfall felt like an avalanche, sudden, massive and destructive. I carried him and ran as fast as I could to a safe place. But as I ran, my steps got heavier, and I felt out of breath. Worst of all, like a skier chased by the engulfing, sliding snow and ice, I didn't know where the safe place was. Fortunately, just when I felt despair, our kids and family friends arrived and began the rescue work. Some sent meals, some ordered medical equipment, some helped with caregiving, some accompanied us to radiation treatment, and some gave mental and spiritual support. With their help, I was able to regain my foothold, however, Gwohann continued to slide down with the invisible snow. He had lost 15 lb in one month, was bedridden and his cognitive functions declined.
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| When asked how he feels having become dependent, Gwohann replied "I feel like a king" |
Seeing my tears of grief, Gwohann said to me "Trust in God's salvation" before he fell in deep sleep again. Despite his declining health, his faith in God remains strong and has never wavered. He praises God and gives thanks every day. Although he has lost much of his short term memories and also his sense of time because he is sleeping so much, he never forgets to pray for our family and friends, including our hired caregivers whom we only knew recently. He is the Job in the Bible, who continues to worship and praise through his suffering. I maybe the caregiver, but it is his courage, spiritual strength and faith that carry me through this difficult time.
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| Thoracic oncologist Dr. Heather Wakelee at Stanford gave us a new hope |
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| On a short term disability leave from work, he can enjoy simple pleasure such as breakfast and lunch in our backyard everyday |
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| Dancing to his favorite song "What a wonderful world" when my sleeping handsome is awake |
When I asked how he feels having become dependent, he replied "I don't feel I deserve the service, but I feel like a king". He is still humble, positive and witty even under dire condition. So since then, every morning when I kiss my sleeping handsome to wake him up, he opens his eyes and says with a beaming smile "Good morning, Queen!" before we cherish another precious bonus day by God's grace.
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| Our wonderful kids and spouses took us to his favorite Banff National Park in BC in early Sept |
