世界日報北美版 12月26日
正在與癌症抗爭的簡國漢說，抗癌過程讓他學到很多功課。例如改變價值觀、團隊作戰、欣賞每一個人的奇妙、全心依靠信仰、謙卑自省、平衡生活、多祝福家人。他日前在全福會年會上分享抗癌經歷，令許多人感動。
這次癌細胞轉移腦部的治療過程，讓他學到更多功課，他發現自己很多地方都有改變。以前有很多放不開的東西，常獨自埋藏在心裡。尤其男人往往遇事都一個人硬抗，不願交流。其實這些都是錯誤的。「任何事都要團隊作戰，單打獨鬥非常辛苦」。要打開心胸與人分享，接受幫助」。
通過謙卑自省，簡國漢與家人相處有很大改變，學會對小孩「多鼓勵，少逼求」。他表示，過去對大女兒學業逼得太緊，令她害怕學數學，導致父女關係隔閡。他發現自己錯了，就向女兒道歉，並經常祝福鼓勵她。以前女兒看到他就緊張，現在看到父親就有笑容，願意與他溝通，對自己也有了信心。家人休閒玩麻將算帳時，都是大女兒算得最快。
簡國漢說，上帝造的每個人都不同。他學會欣賞每個人的奇妙。過去他常認為自己總是對的，對別人期望太多。現在他懂得要欣賞別人的優點。改變思考後，他和太太相處得非常好，總是看到她的優點，「比從前在台灣談戀愛還要甜蜜」。
他說，如果別人做錯了事，要多寬恕別人。回想從小到大他都有一些心結埋在心裡，其實對自身不好。
談到平衡生活的重要性，簡國漢表示，男人好比同時在拋好幾個球。家庭和健康是其中最重要的兩個玻璃球。工作雖也重要，出了錯還可以重新再來。但是家庭和健康這兩個玻璃球如果掉在地上就碎了。
簡國漢笑著說，生病後客戶都對他很好，以前回電郵總要拖兩三天，現在都是很快就回覆，還經常問候他。老闆也對他很好。
Gohan fights cancer, the life lessons he learned
Gohan Jain, who is fighting cancer, says that he has learned many life lessons in this journey, for example, changing his values, the importance of team work, appreciation for everyone's uniqueness, relying on his faith, humility and introspection, a balanced life, and blessing his family. A few days ago, he gave a talk at the Full Gospel Business Men’s Fellowship Chrismas dinner, where his sharing touched many people in the 300+ audience.
On Dec. 25, Gohan, his wife ChaiFen Jain and their three children merrily celebrated Christmas at their home in Cupertino. On Dec. 28th, he will have scans to evaluate his treatment progress and will begin waiting for the results. He said that at present he feels well and his doctors are not worried either, despite finding that his lung cancer spread to his brain earlier this year in June. He decided to cancel a planned trip to Taiwan and focused on his treatment instead. Gohan graduated from National Taiwan University with a BS degree in Electrical Engineering. He came to the States in 1980 for graduate study. He has been working in the EDA industry for over 30 years, holding various high level management positions at the major high tech companies in Silicon Valley.
He was diagnosed with lung cancer in September 2013. During the treatment for his cancer, which later metastasized to his brain, he learned many life lessons. He realized that he used to hold on to frustrations and grudges - things that bothered him that he didn’t let go of. Like many men, he was reluctant to open up and communicate his true feelings. “I was wrong. Living life takes teamwork, fighting alone is hard. Open up and accept help!” he encourages readers.
Through humble introspection , Gohan Jain made big changes to how he communicates with his family. He learned to guide and encourage instead of demanding from his children. He said, in the past, he had high expectations for his daughter’s academic work, which unfortunately made her afraid of math, and created a gap in their relationship. He confessed that he was wrong and has apologized to his daughter. He now blesses her and encourages her. Her daughter used to be nervous around him, now he can see her beautiful smiles toward him again. Furthermore, she is willing to communicate with him and has regained her confidence. When the family plays mahjong, his daughter is often the quickest in tallying score.
Gohan noted that God created everyone equal but each in a different way, and he has learned to appreciate the beauty of God’s creation in each person’s uniqueness. In the past, he often felt he was always right, and had high expectations of how people should act. He has changed his perspective and thinking, and now values people’s unique qualities. After his transformation, his relationship with his wife has blossomed because he more than ever appreciates her merits. “Our love for each other is sweeter than when we were dating”.
Gohan also said to forgive when other people have wronged you. Looking back, since his childhood he has buried several unresolved issues in his heart which was not good for him. Regarding the importance of living a balanced life, Gohan reflects, "a man juggles many balls throughout his life. However, only two of the balls are made of glass and when they are dropped, they will break. That two balls are family and health."
No comments:
Post a Comment